Comments on: Joint Checking Accounts for Married Couples: The Great Debate Over Joint vs. Separate Bank Accounts

By: Judy

Judy — Fri, 09 Oct 2009 02:12:06 +0000

What if you didn’t know about your husbands debt and he lied about it??
He doesn’t contribute anything to the household and I know nothing about his
earnings??
I know— I was a fool!!!

By: Benny

Benny — Sun, 20 Sep 2009 00:33:38 +0000

When my wife and I have a joint account it always gets overdrafted. If we don’t have a checking account and pay bills with cash if I have what’s left it lasts us until the first of the month. If she has what’s left it’s gone before the second week of the month. We both only get paid at the First of the month, and since we drive to 20 miles to work we’ll be asking around for gas money.

But I found in the past that when we had seperate accounts her account would overdraft. Mine wouldn’t so I bailed her out several times. Keep in mind that she’s on my account but she don’t know it so if I pass she still gets the money asap. But this is the only way I know how to save and keep money. She found out that I have $17000 in my 401K account.

Her solution to our problems is “you need to draw it out to help with the bills.” We don’t have that many bills. Here’s a good example: I use to drive cross country on a big rig. My bring home pay was $1000 a week. I was gone for up to 10 weeks at a time. When I got home our account was $500 over drafted. I don’t think that marriage counseling is the answer. Spouses like this should go to financial counseling.

My mother in law is constantly in our business. Is this a common practice for in laws? If so how can we tell them to butt out. They got to live their lives, they need to let us live ours!

By: mrs Y

mrs Y — Wed, 08 Jul 2009 17:39:19 +0000

this article has been very helpful. we recently got married in april and i have had all of my life a seperate checking account. my hubby thinks that it is a good idea that we have joint and my mom and stepdad have a joint checking account. my hubby and i have a joint savings account. i guess i am just chicken because like what the one part of the article says about afraid of overdrafting. that is me right there. but the more that i read this article i am seriously thinking about doing a joint checking account. i mean would this better our credit score if we have joint checking accounts and joint saving accounts or does that not matter? plus we are looking for our first home in the very near future and it would prob look better i guess…..i am more frugal with my money than with what he is. we both watch, but he likes to spend little bit…..maybe it would be better since the bank that i have now isnt going to be available come sept. eighth it was bought out by pnc. so…instead of it being confusing and having to order new checks and stuff maybe i should just combine mine with his checking account since he has a good bank. and i wouldnt have to worry about it being bought out or anything like that. really helpful and insightful article!!

By: bea

bea — Thu, 11 Jun 2009 11:38:01 +0000

I’ve been married for three years and my husband doesn’t have a bank account.
The reason he doesn’t is because he owed the bank for overdraft charges before we got married, so he could never open an account. Recently our employer made everyone get direct deposit and of course my hubby doesn’t have any account. For the past three years if manage all the finances and know he wants to have a seperate account. I’m scared because he doesn”t want to include me in his decision. I think that this is going to but a dent in our marriage.
He like to over spend and know we might even end up without anything. What should I do?

By: Char

Char — Sat, 04 Apr 2009 16:19:05 +0000

The situation IS entirely different with a couple over 40 getting married when each have grown children. My husband is the best when it comes to finances and firmly believes in a joint account. However, I don’t feel that it is appropriate to to have to ask if I can withdraw funds from our joint account for my children. The financial discussion will always be who did what when for which child. Totally exhausting. After we each contribute to pay assigned bills, I should have discretionary income for whatever I want to do that is within the parameters of a good marriage. I shouldn’t feel like a child answering to a parent on spending money I earned. Especially at my age.

By: John Lee

John Lee — Sun, 25 Jan 2009 01:49:23 +0000

“She/He brought more debt into the marriage. She/He should pay it off on his/her own.” I’ve actually heard people say this before, and it makes me cringe every time I hear it. When you get married, you are coming together become one person, one flesh. You work as a team, and you help each other no matter what. If your spouse is bringing in a bunch of debt to the marriage, it’s now your debt. I don’t care who’s name is on the debt. You have an obligation as a marriage partner to share that debt.

I have been married for 3 years and have gotten into a shit load of debt while married. I understand that you are a marriage counselor and wanted to get your advice. Basically too believe in your statement that when you get married, you become one person and you must share all the happiness and sadness as a cohesive unit. I have a newborn baby and my wife has not been working because she is staying home taking care of our son. Our financial situation is like separate right now because I take care of the mortgage and she takes care of the other bills. I do realize that I accumulated this debt by myself but my wife refuses to help me out because her philosophy is that I did it so I have too take responsibility for it. I don’t have any other options left, am I wrong to feel helpless because my wife is not willing to go through the bad times but only the good times with me?

By: Kathy

Kathy — Mon, 17 Nov 2008 20:22:37 +0000

Hi Meg,

I am so sorry you have to live with someone like this. I’m sure you love him but there is no excuse to yell at you and threaten divorce like that. He is trying to make you live in fear.

Why didn’t you ask him before spending the thousands of dollars? Does he ask you when he spends large amounts of money? You should have joint accounts and withdrawals or purchases over a set amount must require BOTH signatures.

Like the guy said in this article.. if you are having money issues like this then this is NOT a sign that you are having trouble with money. It’s a sign there’s trouble with your marriage. I had the same situation with my ex. He was using $ to control me and he sincerely felt I didn’t deserve anything because I had debt and yet he would spend thousands on himself for his hobbies. It left me feeling worthless and like I didn’t deserve anything. I’m sure you feel the same way.

I KNOW you love this man, but you’re going to have to put your foot down and gain back his respect. The next time he threatens to divorce you over your spending, say something witty back like “yeah, that’s REALLY going to save you money” LOL Ok maybe don’t say that… but just tell him you want a joint account and if he doesn’t agree then seriously just leave him or threaten to because he’s not cooperative and you seem to be the only one who really cares. If he makes double your income, and you have a masters.. $15,000 shouldn’t be that big of a deal if it’s a one time thing. But, you SHOULD have asked him first or discussed it first so you should also apologize for that.

The way he acts about money it seems like he’s stashing a whole bunch away and is planning on divorcing you in 5 years and buying a corvette and dating some blonde gold digger. Careful..

By: Meg

Meg — Tue, 04 Nov 2008 05:46:15 +0000

My husband has two separate checking accounts, one for paying bills and the other for our rental income. He wants to be able to access my account information but I am not able to access his. We have been married 25 years and sadly we have never really worked together on finances or been able to follow a budget. Recently, he feels that I have overspent on the 3 kids, ages 25, 20, and 15. However, the 25 year old just moved to LA, the 20 year old and 15 year old just had a birthday, and we had back to school expenses, along with a school dance. I probably spent about $2000 total and he was furious, screaming, and threatening to see an attorney about divorcing me. I think the joint account for both of our incomes would help us with total transparency. Otherwise, I feel he is turning into a control freak. I told the kids to call him whenever they need something, I am retreating from making decisions on all expenses of theirs. Their needs and wants are exhausting to me anyway. 2 other times in our 25 years I overspent on credit. Once for 10,000 for combined college expenses for myself and oldest daughter, and once for 5,000 to help start a part time business. I am a teacher with a Masters and he makes more than double my income. I am not sure there is hope for our marriage because of the money control issues we seem to have. I think I have simply become to unhappy, feeling controlled, and monitored all the time. I also do not buy that much for myself, it is more for the kids. I am pretty depressed. Please share with me if you will.

By: Michelle

Michelle — Sun, 12 Oct 2008 03:39:47 +0000

Please do share with me some more “realities” about my marriage. But first, remind me: have we met?

Pompous ass.

By: Ben

Ben — Wed, 17 Sep 2008 10:06:13 +0000

Wow, this one got some passionate responses! Erik states at the beginning that it’s just his opinion so of course you are all entitled to yours as well. I’m not surprised there are such strong feelings on both sides of the topic.

I’m sure there are couples that make it work both ways, personally my wife and I have joint accounts. I think the most important thing is that there’s an open dialogue about money between you and your spouse and a shared understanding of how it will be spent.