Comments on: Financial Secrets in Marriage Could Lead to a Divorce of Debt

By: Prenups & Beyond: 6 Tips for Money and Divorce | Money Smart Life

Prenups & Beyond: 6 Tips for Money and Divorce | Money Smart Life — Sat, 25 Jun 2011 19:47:38 +0000

[...] you’re not careful, you might end up like my friend who’s wife brought 50K of credit card debt into their marriage, convinced him to pay it off with a second mortgage in his name, then left him shortly [...]

By: linklings, jellyfishy edition | brip blap

linklings, jellyfishy edition | brip blap — Mon, 28 Feb 2011 12:54:29 +0000

[...] Financial Secrets in Marriage Could Lead to a Divorce of DebtEr, yes. Thank goodness Bubelah didn’t put me in this position (or, I guess, me her). [...]

By: Been There

Been There — Fri, 17 Dec 2010 23:54:19 +0000

I would never, ever pull a credit report on someone. 1 – It is illegal, you should be thrown in jail, regardless of the circumstances. If it is so necessary, hire an attorney and have just cause.. 2 – if your future partner isn’t sharing this information willingly then you should not be married and if you are married, you need counseling because often the problem is much deeper than just “finances”. As much as everyone wants to believe it’s just about money it’s often about power in a relationship. Pulling a credit report on a spouse is the equivalent of a parent “catching” a child smoking. I lived this. I married a partner, not a parent to watch over me, dictate and criticize while having hundreds of thousands in the bank yet making us live on Wonder bread and Chicken. What’s next, pulling a medical history check as well? Making sure your spouse swallows a birth control pill by a mouth check because you agreed you don’t want children? This is the most absurd advice on marriage I’ve seen. Do you wave the credit report in front of your spouse if there is a questionable item? Yes, protect yourself, but I think everyone who responded positively to this article, including the author needs to evaluate your personality and position in your marriage. As a married woman who has ironed out major financial problems on both sides, I still firmly believe that if a fiance pulls a credit report without telling me – I would have no problem throwing them in jail. Look deep inside yourself first.

By: Link roundup: Big edition | Mighty Bargain Hunter

Link roundup: Big edition | Mighty Bargain Hunter — Mon, 02 Jun 2008 07:34:08 +0000

[...] Money Smart Life sends out a call to engaged couples to be more open about their finances. [...]

By: kitty

kitty — Mon, 02 Jun 2008 01:47:06 +0000

Something Suze Orman suggested on a show: include clause “I am not responsible for my spouse’s credit card debt on any credit card taken in my spouse’s own name”. Then if you find out your spouse has or opened a credit card, send a copy of the prenuptual agreement to the credit card company so that they know not to come after you. Wouldn’t work for joint accounts, but at least you can keep track of those.

Wouldn’t help if you stay married, but if one spouse opens a card without telling it doesn’t say much about the marriage.

By: Van girl

Van girl — Fri, 30 May 2008 06:49:54 +0000

Very useful advice. I recently had a phone call from a bank to inform me that a joint account belonging to my partner and me had exceeded the overdraft. This came as a big surprise to me as I have never used this particular bank, or so I thought and secondly I haven’t set up a joint account with my partner or an overdraft facility!! So yes I agree it’s extremely important to know your partners spending habits.

By: Ben

Ben — Thu, 29 May 2008 12:30:49 +0000

Good point Cheryl. It’s best if both spouses stay up on the finances. Kind of a system of checks and balances.

Fico Queen, nice addition. You’re right bankruptcy can follow you around for quite a while.

By: Fico Queen

Fico Queen — Wed, 28 May 2008 23:31:02 +0000

I would add an 11th question – have you ever declared bankruptcy? If so, as his or her future spouse, it will affect every loan you apply “together” for.

By: Cheryl

Cheryl — Wed, 28 May 2008 16:02:21 +0000

Great article, and very good advice. I think people should have to look at the other person’s credit report as a requirement for getting married, but I’m probably just cynical I also know what it is like to be less-than-responsible with your money and not want to talk to anyone about it. When you’re in debt, your self-esteem usually isn’t at its grandest. At least I know that was true for me.

I know you were covering items to discuss before marriage, but I wanted to remind everyone to keep your eyes open after marriage, too. If, after you discuss things with each other, you decide one person will “handle the money,” make sure you set up a time (weekly or monthly) where the other person reviews the statements/accounts. If your bank account balance is going down, and your credit balances are going up, you want to know that ASAP, not six months down the road (or six years!). Also, be sure not to be critical of your spouse if the money isn’t where you think it should be (unless there is some **really** good reason, of course), especially if you’re taking a hands-off approach. Be active in your “joint” finances, even if just as an auditor/mental and emotional supporter. You should know where your money is, in case of emergency and/or illness of your spouse.