Dating and Debt

When you get married, your two families become one and so do your personal finances–the good and the bad. It’s important to find out what your spouse-to-be’s likes and dislikes are, and it’s just as important to find out about their personal finances.

Uncover this information while you’re dating and hammer out your plans for the future during your engagement. Waiting until you’re married to discover bad financial habits and low credit scores can add financial stress to your relationship.

How to Talk About Debt

Money is one of leading causes of divorce so talking about your finances should rank as a high priority. You don’t want your marriage to end before it begins, so make time to talk about finances with your significant other.

Share the debts and expenses you have and ask what debts and expenses they have. People are often embarrased by or ashamed of the debt they’ve accumulated so if you explain your financial situation first then they’ll probably feel more comfortable sharing.

Financial Behaviors

You can also learn a lot by watching spending habits and observing certain behaviors. If they always pay with a credit card rather than cash or a debit card, this may be a red flag of credit card debt. Inquire if they pay off the balance on their card each month.

Of course he might put your mind at ease when he says he uses his credit card to earn points, but he pays off the balance in full. Or a red flag may wave if she says she only makes the minimum payment each month.

A fiancee that never seems to have money is another sign of a problem. It may be a sign of living beyond their means–spending more than they’re making. The way to get to the root of the problem is to ask the questions that give you the answers you need. Before you marry someone, you need to know everything about them including income, expenses and credit history.

Credit History & Debts

When you’re married, your credit history, credit scores and debts affect your ability to make major purchases. If your partner has a bad credit score and you’re buying a house, lenders may require a higher cash down payment or charge you a higher interest rate. It can even cause you to get denied for the mortgage.

In the current economy, credit scores and credit history play an even bigger role than ever before. It’s important that you enter into marriage with full knowledge of the debts and credit history that comes along with your spouse. It affects your ability to reach milestones in your relationship, such as buying a home, and your day-to-day finances.

Avoid Wedding Debt

Definitely avoid starting your marriage in debt because you threw a wedding you couldn’t afford. You can have a wonderful wedding and still be conscious of the amount you’re spending.

Throwing a smaller more intimate affair is back in style. This helps couples to save money on everything from the venue space and the number of invitations to the food and beverages served at the reception.

Shopping for gently used wedding dresses at high-end consignment shops or borrowing gowns from friends and family members help brides to save thousands of dollars on buying a new gown Remember you only wear it once.

Marriage & Debt

Finances are a leading cause of divorce because money problems can cause fighting and stress that trickle into the other areas of your marriage. If you go into your marriage with your eyes wide open, you can alleviate this problem in your marriage. Talk about your finances with your fiancée before you get married. Don’t dwell on the past and hold it over their head.  Instead make a plan for how you’ll handle your finances going forward together!

This post on debt and interest rates is part of a series on credit and debt in marriage.  You can also read about credit scores and interest rates, improving your credit score, and
free credit reports.

1) Ask your caterer where you can cut corners – compare prices between a buffet and individual meals. If you caterer has been doing this for any length of time, they should be able to design a package that fits your budget.

Don’t let your caterer talk you into going overboard. Talk to your future husband or wife, and decide what the two of you want most.

Everything over and above that is a bonus, but not required. If you go in with that mindset, then you will not end up paying unnecessarily for seven or eight types of Hors d’Oeuvres.

2) Invite Fewer Guests to Your Wedding and Reception – If you are paying by the head, or by the plate, fewer guests means less expense. It is so easy to go overboard when inviting guests to a wedding. Just make sure the people you really want to attend are counted first, and invite the rest according to your budget.

3) Go “pot luck” - You can always opt for an informal reception and ask your guests to bring a dish. You are virtually assured that everyone will have enough food, and that the food will be the best anyone can make. After all it’s your wedding, and these are your friends and family. They will cook up something special for your big day! Do make sure that you have enough drinks and things on hand, and keep a list of what everyone is bringing. There’s no sense leaving it completely to chance!

4) Skip the open bar, or limit the choices – The bar is the big deal breaker for many weddings. Most places require deposits, attach extra fees, and force you to pay by the bottle – even if the entire bottle is not used up. You can save a lot of money on your reception by skipping the open bar entirely, or by deciding with your future spouse exactly what you want to serve, and how much you want to spend. Make sure that your caterer is on the same page though, or you could be in for an ugly surprise after the wedding.

5) Consider serving only one, or at most two meats – every meat you add to your menu will up the price of catering considerably. Find one that your think your guests will enjoy, and stick to that. Also, consider a vegetarian alternative. It’s going to be cheaper, and allow your guests who don’t eat meat to feel like you considered them in your plans.

6) Consider local restaurants - You do have to have a catering license to cater an event, but more and more local businesses are getting them. If the place down the street has amazing chicken or barbeque, then why not hire them? Having a well known local place cater your wedding is going to be a lot more fun, and cheaper, than the standard rubber chicken buffet fare.

Of course, the reception is only one of the major expenses of a wedding. Some other places you can cut costs are saving money on wedding pictures, planning a low cost honeymoon, and reduce the expenses of planning your wedding.

These wedding tips on cutting the costs of your wedding reception are part of the Marriage Money Guide.

Photo Credits: pumpsandgloss.wordpress.com

Here are some other ways you can save money on your wedding:

• Save money on your wedding dress
• Save money on a destination wedding
• Save money planning your wedding

This list of ideas to save money on your wedding pictures is part of the Marriage Money Guide.

Photo Credits: pixcellence.co.uk

How to Save Money On Your Wedding Dress:

1. Make use of sample sales – Sample wedding dresses normally come in sizes 6, 8, and 10. Occasionally you can find plus size samples as well, you just have to call around. Buying a “sample” dress can save you a lot of money and you can always have minor imperfections or dirt removed before your big day.
2. Shop for your wedding dress on Ebay – Ebay features a nearly limitless train of wedding dresses both used, and new. You can even set up alerts and Ebay will email you any time a new dress is listed. Start early enough and you are sure to find your dream dress at a fraction of the price. Make sure you buy from a reputable seller though, and be aware of the return policy in case something is not exactly right.
3. Search Craigslist – Sometimes you can find excellent deals on wedding dresses, and other wedding items on Craigslist. The sooner you start planning your wedding, the longer you have to look for that perfect dress for yourself or your bridesmaids.
4. Check out Brides Against Breast Cancer - Brides Against Breast Cancer is a charity organization where brides donate their dresses, and new brides purchase them. The money from the sale of the dresses goes toward breast cancer research. By buying your dress through them you not only get a gorgeous dress at a discount, but you help out a great cause too. Not all the dresses are used either – many designers donate the previous season’s dresses, as do bridal warehouses.
5. Wear Your Mom’s Dress – Wearing your mother or grandmother’s dress can really make your big day special since you are wearing part of the history of your family. If you do this make sure that you have plenty of time to take the dress out, try it on, and have it altered or repaired before your big day. Depending on how well their dress was stored, you may not have to do anything but have it cleaned, or you may have to take it to have sections that were worn or damaged by time repaired.
6. Find a Talented Tailor or Seamstress – An expert tailor can take an ill-fitting or worn dress and turn it into something spectacular – a made to order, perfectly fitting jewel for your wedding day. I do not recommend using the tailor that your bridal salon will suggest. At least, not before you check them out! They may turn out to be a specialist, or they may turn out to be a struggling business person giving kickbacks to the salon. Don’t trust your dress alterations to just anyone. The money you spend with them is as important as your dress, because the finished product – how well your dress flatters you – is up to them.
7. Choose a classic dress without a ton of fabric or beaded embroidery – The less fabric the dress is made from the cheaper it will be. Also, having to alter a dress with a ton of detail will make even the most experiences seamstress cringe – and it may not look as good when they are finished. A classic dress with simple lines and a minimum of beading and detail will not only make you look nice, but be cheaper at the store, and at alteration time.
8. Before you set a wedding date, call your local bridal stores and ask them when they usually run their sales - If you can time your wedding with their sales and discounts, you (and your bridesmaids) can get much more impressive dresses, for far less money.
9. Ask for a pre-sale preview – If you aren’t afraid to ask, then this will net you first crack at the sale and discount dresses, and most bridal stores are happy to accommodate you. After all, you can always have them place the dress on hold until the sale is official.
10. Spend some time thinking about what you envision your dream dress to look like, and give some consideration to which type of dress will look good on your body shape – no two women are the same, and not all wedding dresses look good on everyone. If you have an idea of what you want, then you will save time, and money when you start searching for your dress.
11. Get designer dresses at a discount – If you absolutely have your heart set on that couture wedding gown, then the internet is your best friend. Search, search, search, until you find it on sale. You can find the real designer dresses as much as 50% off, and the designer knock offs far cheaper than that.

For other ways to save money on your wedding, read how you can save money on a destination wedding and save money planning your wedding without spending a fortune.

This list of ideas to save money on a wedding dress is part of the Marriage Money Guide.

Photo Credits: alibaba.com

1. Make a budget first - Traditionally it is the responsibility of the brides family to pay for the wedding, and the groom’s family to pay for the honeymoon. However, few people today follow the old traditions, which means that more and more couples are paying for both their wedding, and their honeymoon.



If you are the ones footing the bill, make sure you create a budget that includes your honeymoon! It is so easy to spend all of your money on your wedding, and hope that you have enough left over to take the trip of your dreams – don’t count on it! Make that budget, or you may find yourselves with a less than desirable honeymoon location. Even if you do not have a lot of money you can still have a beautiful honeymoon celebration in the location of your choice, you just have to work within your own budgetary guidelines.




2. Consider a Honeymoon Registry - Plenty of people have bridal shower and wedding registries, but did you know that you can create a honeymoon registry as well? This will let your friends and family donate directly to your honeymoon fund to purchase your airfare, or hotel rooms.

   It’s a good idea to let people know about this as early as possible. By the time you get married any money that is donated may be too late. Best to mention it before your bridal shower instead of right before your wedding.

   There are several ways to start a honeymoon registry, but the easiest is to contact a travel agent in your area. You can also find out more about honeymoon registries when you click here.




3. Plan your wedding and honeymoon in the off season - It’s no secret that every tourist destination has an off season. During those times, you can always find amazing deals on just about everything – your hotel, plane tickets, even cruises or total vacation packages. You don’t have to go way off season either. Just target your dates slightly to either side of the peak seasons, and you can travel for less. Sometimes thousands less.




4. Use your travel agent - Travel agents offer a ton of resources. They can help you book the cheapest flights, save on your hotel rooms, and get you package deals at a discount. The money you can save with them should more than cover the cost of their fees. After all, this is what they do every single day, and for your once-in-a-lifetime honeymoon, trusting an expert to take care of the details will save you a lot of stress, and still let you get the most for your money.




5. Go on a cruise - Whether you want to see the northern lights or explore ancient Mayan ruins, there’s a cruise that goes there. Cruises are ideal for honeymoons because they are package deals. You get everything (or almost everything) for one low price. When you choose to go on a cruise for your honeymoon, you will not have to worry nearly as much about what things cost once you get there. Most meals are included, and you can arrange your on-shore outings before you leave. No surprises, just a fun time.

   Besides cruises are known for their good food, great entertainment, and on-ship amenities like spas. They really can be all-in-one dream vacations. The off-season rule applies here too, you can save a lot if you go during a slow month. You can use the internet to compare packages, prices, and off peak specials. Just google “cruise” + your desired destination.




6. Consider having your honeymoon close by - My husband and I went to a tiny little tourist town about an hour away from us. We booked early, and online, and got a free night’s stay at the hotel. We had an amazing time because there was no pressure, no flights to catch, no phone ringing…just us. IT was very romantic, and I will never forget it. We got all of that for under $500, and that included our meals while we were there. So, it doesn’t have to be expensive, and it doesn’t have to be far away to still be one of the most amazing memories you will ever have!




7. Tell people you are on your honeymoon - you will be really surprised by some of the free things you will get. Everything from free drinks, to free items, to hotel room upgrades, to free tours. Everyone loves a couple in love, and you can definitely take advantage of it during that special time!




8. Consider a timeshare, or beach house - Have a talk with your relatives before you make your honeymoon plans. See if anyone they know has a timeshare, or beach house, or cabin that you could borrow or rent cheaply. There are fewer things more romantic than a cabin or house on the beach where you and your love can spend some time together. If you did something like this you could focus what money you do have on your honeymoon activities instead of the cost just to get a room somewhere.

The most important tip is really just to look for deals wherever you go. Your honeymoon does not have to be expensive. If you plan early, and ask for a discount every time you can, then chances are you really will have a much nicer honeymoon for less money than you expected to spend on it.

For other ways to save money on your wedding, read how you can save money planning your wedding without spending a fortune and how to get the most for your money when you register for wedding gifts.

This review of honeymoon ideas that are fun but more affordable is part of the Marriage Money Guide.

Photo Credit: Tahiti Experience.com

• Understand that not everyone is going to use your registry - No matter how well meaning she might be, your Aunt Fanny is going to go right ahead and buy those $30 faux crystal candlesticks. Love her, and let it go.




• Skip the fondue pot, pasta maker, and anything else that slices, dices and also makes julienne fries – Trust me, you are going to regret it later when you only get four place settings of china and have a brand new chocolate fountain. Don’t put this stuff on your registry at all, or people will buy it for you.




• Do keep your registry simple - Put only the things you really want on your registry, and you will not end up with assorted items that gather dust and take up space in your future garage. Many of us get giddy at the idea of all those gifts, and the result is that we go hog wild with the registry. Please don’t make that mistake! Better to register for fewer things that you really want than to have pages and pages of possible gifts for people to sift through when they print your registry.
  
  
  

• Do register at a store chain that is available to all of your friends, family, and guests - It’s important to understand that not everyone who will send you a gift will live close to you. I had friends of our family on the other side of the United States send me gifts. Please keep your far-flung relatives and friends in mind. Choose a store chain to register with that is big enough for them to get to locally, or has an easy to use online registry search.




• Consider creating at least two registries, one high dollar, one low dollar – We registered at Dillard’s, and Target – While neither one of them is particularly high dollar, Target was a definite value option for those friends and family who did not have a lot of money, but still wanted to give us a gift.




• Do register for your basic household appliances if you do not already have them, or need new ones – A vacuum, a microwave, a good set of knives, even a carpet steamer, or an iron and ironing board would not be out of place here. I mean really. would you rather spend your hard earned money on a carpet steamer, or be grateful that your family loved you enough to buy you one and spare you the expense? You might even end up with a nicer one than you would buy for yourself.




• Do include a shipping address on your registry - Not everyone will want to bring your gift to the wedding, and you need to have a secure shipping address listed so that they can have your gifts sent directly to you.




• If possible, allow your guests to choose gift cards as a registry option - Target offered this when I registered, and many more stores are now starting to. This will help you fill in the gaps between what people bought you, and what you still need for your new life together.




• Do register for china, silverware, and enough place settings for at least 8 people - You in-laws will come for Christmas eventually, whether you want them to or not. The best you can hope for is to at least have matching place settings!




• Encourage your guests to pool their money - If you have several expensive items on your registry, then it makes sense to ask people to pool their money. You only need so many salad spinners, bathroom towels, and kitchen gadgets.




• Do not be afraid to ask for money, but DO tell your guests what you plan to use it for! - Many of your guests may buy you a gift for your bridal shower, but give you money for your wedding. A polite thank you note explaining what you intend to do with the money is a beautiful thing to do to repay their kindness.




• Do not register for duplicate items - We made this mistake and ended up with a couple of duplicate items. If you register at more than one place, make sure you print the list from your first registry and have it handy when you do the second one. Also, do not assume that you can remove items from your registry. We found things that we liked at both Dillard’s than Target, but Dillard’s was slow to remove the registered items when we tried to fix them online.




• Stay on the lookout for freebies, warranties, and rebates on the items your guests give you - Save any gift receipts, and get money back where you can.




• Be prepared to return duplicate or unwanted gifts - You will probably get them, there is no way around it. Make sure you schedule a day to go around and return things for cash, or store credit whenever possible. If possible, keep the gift giver in the dark about it, they gave the gift out of their love for you, and it’s better not to embarrass them or make them angry over returning a gift.




• Do get everything you can for free before you register – Before you register as a couple, talk frankly to your parents and family on both sides. Find out if they have used items like vacuums, etc. before you register for them. If you can get some things for free, or very cheaply from your family members, you can register for other things that you need instead.

Above all, please remember that registering for practical items will serve you best. The intent behind wedding gifts is that in a way, they help give the new couple the foundation of their future home together. If you register for things that will not help you build your new home into a happy place, then both you and your guests will miss out on this opportunity.

Be sure to check out ways to save money planning your wedding and how to save money on a destination wedding.

This checklist of tips on how to get the most for your money when you register for wedding presents is part of the Marriage Money Guide.

Photo credit: Zimbio.com

Whether you’re dreaming of having a large traditional wedding, or an intimate gathering of close family and friends, it can be easy to go overboard in the planning stages.

There are so many things to consider; the location, the dress and tuxedos, the reception – all the way down to the favors you will give your guests and the time of day you want to get married. With that in mind, here are some realistic strategies for planning your wedding without breaking the bank!

Do It Yourself:

Planning everything yourself can be time consuming, strenuous, and more than a little intimidating – but it doesn’t have to be. There are some excellent tools available to help you organize your wedding plans, and help you bring everything together seamlessly so that you can have the wedding you’ve always dreamed about.

Wedding Planning Software:

You can use inexpensive wedding planning software to automate many of the time consuming tasks that planning a wedding involves:

• Keep track of your wedding budget
• Maintain a calendar of appointments for fittings, food tastings, meetings and photography
• Have an accurate and up to date guest list
• Design the perfect seating arrangement for your reception guests
• Track bridal shower and wedding gifts
• Keep an address list for thank you notes

There are dozens of software programs out there for you to use when you plan your wedding, but a few stand head and shoulders above the rest.

• Smart Wedding - for $34.99 you get all of the necessary planning functions, as well as the ability to print both the inner and outer envelopes for your wedding invitations.
• EZ Wedding Planner - This is a free planner that also comes with several guides including music and registry suggestions, and a quick guide for the bride and groom. It also features checklists for your photographer, and an etiquette guide that explains who is supposed to pay for what.
• My Wedding Companion - This software has a free 30 day trial and uses a “fill in the blanks” budget option that takes most of the guesswork out of planning your wedding. You can simply eliminate expenses that you don’t want, and add in anything that is not featured.

If you choose not to use software to plan your wedding, you will want to make sure that you are very organized. Otherwise, you might find some of the smaller details slipping through the cracks. After all, the last thing you want to do is to forget your rings on the big day, or forget to tell your photographer that certain family members need to be photographed.

In addition to using software, and keeping a folder designed specifically to keep track of your details, you will probably want to enlist the aid of a close friend or parent. Have this person help you run errands, oversee the seating arrangements, check to see that the cake is delivered and set up correctly, and anything else you think they might be willing to do to help out.

In fact, if you can get three or four volunteers, it will reduce your stress considerably. This is your big day! Do whatever you can to spend it thinking about walking down that aisle (or seeing your bride walk down that aisle!) instead of worrying about whether or not Aunt Mae was seated next to her ex-husband, or if you contracted the caterer to serve enough food. Plan beforehand, get help, and then let it go and relax. Weddings rarely come off without a hitch or two, so if you have covered the details well enough, then no matter what happens, you will still have the wedding you dreamed of.

But what if that’s not enough? Hiring a professional:

Sometimes there is just no way around it – you need help, and you want someone else to handle the small details so that you can focus on the best parts. That is where a professional wedding planner comes in. The truth is, no matter how diligent you are, how many hours you spent planning, or how much money you spent, things will go wrong. You can’t be expected to handle every issue that comes up on your wedding day – You’ll be busy! That is where either a very good friend, or a wedding planner steps in.

What does a wedding planner do?

Hiring a wedding planner offers you several unique benefits:

• They’ve done all this before – what is new to you is old hat to them. They expect the emergencies, and the good ones are there with bobby pens, duct tape, face powder and even a sewing kit to take care of whatever you need on your big day.
• They have a Rolodex full of connections – They already know the best florists, photographers and bakeries in the area, and they know where to go to get you exactly what you want.
• An experienced wedding planner can help you stick to your budget. They will know where you can cut corners, and they will work with the staff at your wedding and reception sites to clear up any problems before you even notice them.
• No matter how well you plan, you can’t be everywhere at once. Having someone there on your wedding day, someone that you are paying to be there and take care of things, can give you enormous peace of mind. If something needs to be done, re-done or dealt with, they will do it, not you, and most likely, you will never know that your wedding was anything but perfect.

You might be thinking “Well, sure, that sounds great, but I can’t afford to hire a wedding planner!”

Remember that you can always negotiate the fee with your wedding coordinator. Ask if they can lower their rates if you take on some of the responsibility yourself, or have family members agree to oversee those parts instead. Shop around, and don’t automatically accept the first reasonably priced person who comes along. Check their references, talk to their past clients, and evaluate them well first.

Be sure that you are hiring a wedding planner that you can trust. If you do, then their fee will seem well worth it in the end because you will wake up the morning of you wedding excited, happy, and a whole lot less worried about what will happen if something goes wrong.

There are a few other ways to outsource parts of your wedding to help you focus on the main event:

As you plan your wedding, you are probably going to consider hiring a photographer, a videographer, a florist, a caterer, possibly a band, or entertainment of some sort to play at your reception.

Draw up a list of every professional you may need to hire, and work them into your wedding budget so that you know what you can afford before you sit down with them. Otherwise, you could end up spending way, way more than you planned to!

You should also make up a list of questions that you want to ask each professional. Do not forget to ask for discounts either! Most places offer them, but it’s just like anything else – they aren’t going to lower that bill for you unless you specifically ask them to!

One last word of advice: Study any contracts you sign very carefully. My husband and I needed to change the date of our wedding twice before we finally got a date that worked for us as well as our guests. Unfortunately, we lost money on our first reception booking because we did not give them enough notice. You need to understand exactly what the limitations of those contracts are, when the payments are due, and what, if anything you will get back if you need to cancel with them, or change your dates.

This is one of the most special, amazing days of your whole life. Don’t let the planning of it stress you out. Set your wedding date far enough in advance that you have room to make any necessary changes. Accept all the help you can get – whether it’s professional, or family.

As you plan, please try to remember that this day is all about you and your sweetheart. In ten years, the fact that your ring-bearer sneezed all over the altar, or that your cake was slightly lopsided – well, none of that will matter. Only the emotions and memories of that day will matter, as will the life and love that you will share together from that day on.

If you’re going to be planning a destination wedding, check out the article on how to save money on a destination wedding.

These tips for planning a wedding on a budget are part of the Marriage Money Guide.

Photo Credit: Flickr.com